Never Has There Been A More Critical Time To Show Empathy At Work ~via @RuthGotian
To be a good listener, don’t just listen, ask relevant questions... then be sure to pay attention to the answers. #RonR... #NoLetUp!
"A pandemic brings out fears, frustrations, and anxiety and many are feeling tired, unmotivated, and incapable of focusing. This is the time to connect and empathize with our colleagues." ~Ruth Gotian
This article was originally published in Forbes on May 18, 2020.
It is well known that people don’t leave jobs, they leave bosses. Key to this feeling is that the leader has a disconnect with feelings and is unable to empathize with their team.
A pandemic brings out fears, frustrations, and anxiety and many of us are feeling tired, unmotivated, and incapable of focusing. As I previously reported for Forbes, this is the time to connect and empathize with our colleagues. One such way of doing so is with a ‘check-in’ conversation. This chat is not about catching up on work-related tasks, rather, to see how the members of your team are doing, really doing. The chats can be by any medium you have available including phone, text, Slack, and Zoom.
Listen with intent
What is critical, AJ Duffy, Learning and Development Director, Corporate Groups at Microsoft explains, is to “Listen with intent. Don’t just ask ‘How are you doing?’ Ask and then hear them. Pause longer to allow all thoughts to come out. Sometimes people just want to be heard and not given advice.” Duffy encourages listening for specifics. “If a colleague or direct report says something specific about a family member or friend, next time you speak, check back in with them about that specific person.” Most importantly, Duffy explains is to model the behavior. If a manager or peers sees you doing this, it will get noticed and others will follow your lead.
Christopher Littlefield, an expert in employee appreciation and recognition and founder of Beyond Thank You underscores the distinction that although the COVID-19 threat is universal, not everyone is facing the same circumstances. He encourages all employees and leaders to show empathy through understanding and flexibility. Littlefield offers several recommendations that can help us elevate our empathy practice.
Pulse questions
Littlefield recommends starting every meeting by asking a ‘pulse question’ in order to determine how our colleagues are feeling physically and emotionally. Start the meeting by asking “What is your energy level today…1 is if you’re feeling completely drained and 10 is fully energized?” Have your colleagues enter their number into the meeting chat. Follow up by asking if there is anything you or the team can do to offer support. If anyone has lower than a seven, make sure to check in with them after the meeting.
Adapt meeting times and deadlines
Some team members might be juggling multiple family responsibilities including homeschooling, entertaining kids, caring for elderly parents, and cooking meals. Adapt meeting times and deadlines to support your colleagues with competing home and work demands.
One size does not fit all
Littlefield cautions against assuming that others will need the same time and support as you might require. “While you may need more meetings to stay connected, others may require more free time to get work done. Show empathy by checking in and maintaining a balance that works for everyone.”
Model imperfection
A great way to encourage people to ask for help when needed is by asking for help yourself. Littlefield suggests letting your team know if you are struggling to focus or feeling burned out. “When you show you are not perfect, it gives others permission to do the same.”
If empathy doesn’t come naturally to you, this is the time to work on this critical power skill. There are numerous ways you can exhibit empathy toward your teammates from check-in conversations to discussing your own struggles. Recognizing that everyone is dealing with the pandemic in their individual way forces us to remain agile as we remain empathetic.
