The Mirror Effect ~via Carla Birnberg
I met Carla approx 15 years ago at a blogger conference... FitBloggin'. She was known at the time as fitness blogger MizFit, and was preaching a concept of What You Can When You Can, #wycwyc, soon to become a bestselling book. I loved the concept of creating and executing small fitness challenges throughout your day (something I had been doing for years due to the influence of my High School wrestling coach) and adopted the hashtag and mindset. ALSO made a friend of Carla and have been fortunate to be influenced by her attitude, insights, and perspective ever since. /Ted
You know that feeling when you're about to meet someone you admire, and your mind starts playing games?
That's where I found myself the other day, heading to meet the inimitable Jay Papasan for coffee. A bright spot which had been sitting on my calendar for months, a marker of anticipation in this currently wonky world. As the day grew closer, I felt a mix of excitement and curiosity about how our scheduled hour would unfold.
Spoiler alert: we had so much in common it was almost uncanny: from the books that shaped our approach to life, to the cities we've lived on or considered, to how we think about humans and what makes them tick.
If you’ve hung here with regularity you already know how Front Row People, those humans who bear witness to our lives with intentional presence, give us a gift regularly. They see us, hold space for our growth, celebrate our wins. There’s just something *different* about being witnessed by someone new, someone who carries weight in the world yet meets us with fresh eyes.
As an extroverted introvert (heavy on the introvert side), I wondered about filling an hour with meaningful conversation. Would we connect? Would the conversation flow naturally? Would I have enough to say to someone whose work has influenced so many?
Something magical happened in those 90 minutes together. The way Jay listened, responded, and engaged created a space where I could, unexpectedly, see myself more clearly.
And the thing about being witnessed by a stranger is there's no shared history, no previous context, no carefully curated resume preceding you. It's just...you. Real, unfiltered, present. And that's kinda where the magic lives.
This isn’t about impostor syndrome an oversimplified term we use more and more these days. This is more nuanced, more interesting. It's about how it’s possible to simultaneously know your worth (maybe even love yourself a bit too much, if we're being honest) while maintaining a clear inventory of your growth areas.
There's an authenticity in being truly seen by a stranger: it's just you, raw and immediate, simultaneously aware of your worth and your potential to evolve.
My drive home was filled with realizations.
What made those 90 minutes special wasn't what we talked about, it was that rare moment when how I saw myself and how I show up in the world perfectly aligned in someone else's eyes, that feeling of Yes, this is exactly who I think I am, and you're seeing it too.
It's why I do what I do, why I show up in spaces ready to be surprised by how similar we all are under our various masks and roles.
In these moments, how we see ourselves and our authentic presence lineup creating an indescribable (although I’ve tried here ;-)) feeling of recognition.
When was the last time you experienced this kind of connection and it felt like coming home to yourself?
Originally posted at Carla Birnberg’s Substack
